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Ideal type of life partner
Topic Started: Dec 28 2014, 02:30 AM (6,574 Views)
Posted Image Narukota
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blah

I just realized again that I never met a girl in real life. ;_;
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Rebbie
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Winners never quit, and quitters never win

:cello:

Edited by Rebbie, Mar 25 2017, 11:42 AM.
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Burns
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King of Lemurs

That's a lot of emojis!
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Rebbie
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Winners never quit, and quitters never win

Sorry :$ I cut back
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fridooh
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Hmm.. this one is hard. I'm in an awesome relationship atm, so I guess I could make a list of all the things I love about it.

1. We are not just boyfriend and girlfriend - we are best friends as well. I think that's really important.
2. We can talk about everything, he knows all my deepest secrets and I know his.
3. We can be ourselves with eachother. I can run around naked in our house, he doesn't care. We go to the toilet with the door open, no problem. It's even happened before that we shared the same toothbrush xD
4. We fight, and we forgive eatchother. Our fights can become huge, but we always go to sleep as friends.
5. We never get tired of eachother. We are always together. When he's at work, I have him on the phone the whole time. He's even on the phone when I sleep. (he works as a security guard at night)

Well, I don't want to make this list long and boring, I could go on forever xD But, for me, it doesn't matter what he looks like or what hobbies he has. As long as we have a good relationship, and we help each other with everything in life and we love each other to the moon and back - I'm happy :)
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Umpaloompa
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~ lore me up ~

ZionEagle
Dec 29 2014, 04:56 PM
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I don't have such exacting standards, just big boobs and a nice ass B)

Ummm....sorry buddy, if that's all you care about I don't think many females will want to be your life partner ;)
To be honest, he has a greater chance of finding someone than those of you who are posting these frankly despicable lists of countless traits that your life partner *must* have.

Before I rant, I would like to give out my kudos to Kohana & Murdock and Fridooh as well. Although I might disagree that there is such a thing as a perfect person (stargatedalek, or else the kudos would have mentioned you too!), you guys seemed to focus on what makes someone tick and showed conscience in the listing of the person's qualities that are admired - because of how their actions reflect who they are, and not their tastes and preferences.

To be honest, I couldn't care less that my ex-girlfriend was an atheist although I'm a Catholic and I couldn't care less that she couldn't name all subspecies of giraffe. She was an awesome human being, and although it didn't end well, I respected her and loved her for who she was when we were together. To be honest, if she liked exactly what I liked, it would've been boring and I wouldn't have learned so much from her.

Why does it matter if your wife dislikes or doesn't care for dinosaurs if she loves the way you laugh? Why does it matter if your husband hates sports if he knows all your favourite movies by heart and watches them even if he hates them? Why should a person's likes or dislikes, their interests rule over they personality and their characteristics?

The second post in this topic (Mr. Gorsh) also touches on a very good point, as others have mentioned after him. Slightly paraphrasing what he said, the ability to love you even with your imperfections is clearly the one quality you could genuinely ask for.

I know many of you have embedded realistic traits within your lists (honesty, friendliness, communication seem to be reoccurring), but there are so many shallow and futile things mentioned that it's actually a pretty sad thing to read through this topic.

My current… well, I cannot call her a girlfriend yet, but she adores sports and I am terrible at them, so we run together. She knows nothing about animals, but so much about movies that I am learning and so is she, so that we can both talk about the things we love. She's beautiful, not in the imaginable blue eyes/blond hair way but in the smiling-while-she-sings, running-her-fingers-through-my-palm-before-she-interlocks-them-with-mine way. She's nothing like me and in that sense, she completes me. After all, according to the laws of physics, opposites attract…

Of course this is just my example and of course there are things that connect us, but the fact is that and I'm not sure if Murdock and Kayla, as well as Fridooh or Stargatedalek will back me up, but I hope they do, the fact is that being different makes things so much more interesting. So whilst I'm glad to read "honesty" and "friendliness" over and over again, things like "Must love plants" or "must love dinosaurs" are futile and honestly, when the time comes, if you really love the person you consider your life partner, these things won't matter.
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Mysty
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a loose cannon

Personally I think a lot of people have trouble staying "in love" with someone permanently (well, at least the fluttering butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling associated with love). I see a lot of people who assume that those feelings never go away... but they usually do, or at least tend to come and go.

I think shared interests, whether it be dinosaurs or video games or whatever, are very important - much more important than attraction or chemistry. When the initial attraction fades, there's nothing but shared interests and beliefs to fall back on. I know a lot of Catholics whose relationships are in jeopardy because their beliefs clash with those of their partners (abortion and birth control usage in particular tend to create trouble from what I've seen).

Many serial monogamists fall into a trap where they develop feelings and then rationalize themselves into a relationship when they don't actually have much in common with someone else. This can create all sorts of issues later down the road - if one person doesn't want children, for instance, this can be a huge problem later on, even if it's not important at the beginning. Small idiosyncrasies can easily become grievances in the context of a marriage or long-term relationship.

I agree that these gigantic lists are a little insane. I think a lot of people are just joking around with it though xD
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CyborgIguana
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Plus I never said my partner HAD to like dinosaurs, just that it would be even better if she did.
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Umpaloompa
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~ lore me up ~

I'm not necessarily talking about you C.I.

Some quotes to show what I mean:

Quote:
 
Must. Love. Plants.


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-Must be a gamer.


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6. Must not be a scaredy cat. Eg:- *watching movie* OMG she died because of strangling?! *vomit, faint*
I will not tolerate this.

(bold to highlight what I mean)

I understand that many of the posters are young and therefore I guess they haven't experienced these emotions yet, but these are just examples of what I was talking about.

Mysty, I agree that shared interests are important, but I don't believe the constitution of a person should be disregarded in favour of their likes. The fact is, likes can be learnt and grown and added and cultivated, and I mean in the positive sense. The essence of a person, the way I see it, means the major difference. Because, as you mentioned, the initial attraction fades. However, I disagree with you as to what remains when that fades. What remains are emotions, are the basis of a loving and kind person that you once felt those feelings for. And if a relationship is built correctly, then there will definitely be shared likes between a person and their life partner, or else they wouldn't even last after the fading of the initial attraction.
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Jules
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Mihi est imperare orbi universo

1 - Not damn crazy Austroraptor's-previous-bfs-style
2 - Avoid being overly attached.
3 - Make me feel in love.

Physical appearance unrequited, religious belief unrequited (avoid being either a religious or atheist bigot please)
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into the dextroverse
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I think I found mine?
but anwyays
the essentials~
Likes me more than I like me
Prefers to defuse rather than incite conflict (non confrontational)
Extroverted/can carry on conversation/is okay with my constant inanities
Trusts me, doesn't make assumptions about what I do
******** respects my autonomy ********* (biggest one)
neurodivergent (pc way of saying 'has a mental disorder' I could go on about why neurodivergent is a better word but thats irrelevant)
accepting of my actions/ideosyncracies/GLARING flaws
ideally well educated, aware of the world and the issues facing human society, and if not that at curiosity and drive to learn
Overwhelmingly benevolent
Strongly separated from "status quo" or societal ideals, sees most societal values as useless, harmful, outdated, irrelevant, malleable, or open to interpretation especially in terms of gender roles, institutional oppression, fashion, being "proper" etc
politically radical/ far left
Likes adventure

preferences~
Enjoys videogames
likes drugs
likes anime/appreciates anime aesthetic
likes cuddling
likes nature
vegetarian
likes same music
likes long walks
likes animals

etc
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dycki1231
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likes drugs!?

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fridooh
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Hehe, everyone's different I guess :P
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into the dextroverse
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dycki1231
Dec 30 2014, 01:04 AM
likes drugs!?

different strokes for different folks
sorry if it was inappropriate i can remove it if that's preferred
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dycki1231
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nonono.......the main point is love drug and vegetarian are two concept that not care of health and want to be more healthy. How can you get a person that doing things that against each other?

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