Bravery

True bravery is something that you don't see a lot of these days yet it's something that we should all strive for. But what exactly is it? It seems that today's society has a completely lop-sided view of bravery and to explain my point, I'm going to tell you a story.

Imagine there is a wooden bridge across a wide river. Now, a group of ten boys is walking along the bank of the river when they see the bridge. As they talk and laugh, they start to walk along the bridge. There is nothing overly special about these boys. They are just a bunch of ordinary kids with their own talents, their own dreams and their own fears.
When they get about halfway along the bridge, the ten boys stop to have a rest. That's when one sporty, strong-looking boy has this great idea. He thinks that they should all jump off the side of the bridge and into the water. The water isn't too deep and the bridge isn't too high so jumping off should be, more or less, safe.

About five of the boys agree immediately and all jump off straight away without a thought. They all land in the water safely and climb up onto the bridge to go again. However, the other few boys are all too scared to jump off the bridge. So they wait. But after a few jumps, the first five start pressuring the scared boys to go as well. The boys are definitely tempted and don't want to seem like losers by not at least giving it a go. All but one of them eventually jump in and even though they were afraid, once they give it a go, they can't stop! Still, there is one boy who will not jump in. The others keep pressuring him to jump but no matter what they say, he will not.

After a while, it begins to get dark and they all begin to walk back to their homes. The one boy who was too afraid to jump in goes home feeling like a loser and the other boys who did jump in go home feeling extremely brave.

But what exactly is bravery? Is it when you jump in fearlessly without a thought? Is it facing your fears and taking that risk? Or is bravery when you hold back and resist the pressure of your friends? I'm sure almost all of you would naturally agree that it's the first - diving in right from the get-go.

If that's what you would say, then it's time for you to stop and think. The first group was not afraid to jump in whatsoever. For them, jumping off the bridge was easy, fun and certainly not challenging in any way. They simply gave it a go without hesitation. They were fearless; completely unafraid. But is that bravery? Is it brave when someone does something that they aren't afraid of? I wouldn't think so. I am not afraid of walking down the stairs and I'm sure none of us would consider it brave if I walked down the stairs. Walking down the stairs is in my comfort zone. I feel perfectly safe doing it and I walk down the stairs without a fear. In the same way, the first few boys felt perfectly safe jumping off the bridge and did it. They weren't brave. They were simply unafraid.

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
- Mark Twain

Bravery requires fear. Without being afraid, you cannot possibly be brave. When a soldier goes out to war, he is afraid. He is risking his life and he knows that. Yet he still goes out there and fights.That is bravery.

If you tie that back in with our bridge example, you could say that the second group of boys were brave and, yes, I agree. They were afraid to jump but they still did it. They stepped out of their comfort zones and did something that was beyond what they felt safe doing. They were afraid but they were brave.

Now, what about the last kid? The one who never jumped in no matter what the others said? Surely, he can't be brave, can he? Let me bring you back to the quote by Mark Twain. Was this kid absent of fear? No. He was terrified! Did he master his fear? No. He stood back and wouldn't face his fear of jumping off the bridge. But did he resist fear? Yes, he certainly did. In fact, he resisted one of the most difficult fears of all. The fear of being mocked. The fear of being hated. The fear of being unloved and lonely. When a person is able to stand up to that kind of pressure and resist it, that is still bravery. In fact, it is one of the most rare and most unrecognised forms of bravery. But it is still bravery and a bravery that our culture seems to lack. A bravery that requires complete strength and will.

You see, every person wants to be loved and wants to be cared about. When we, as humans, are pressured into doing something, it gets extremely difficult for us. Even when we are pressured into things that we would normally never do or even want, we become so tempted. Why? The idea that we might lose friendships or no longer be accepted if we stand back is too difficult for us. We would rather give in than lose the people that we believe care for us. That's what is so brave about this one boy. He saw all the others jump in. He must have known that it was perfectly safe and he certainly would have been tempted. Yet, he went against the flow and chose not to give in. When people dare to be different, that is true bravery.